O Beloved Coffee!
I beseech you.
Please be available and plentiful in the next month while my husband is in trial in NYC.
Please be omnipresent while my son is with him for the next week.
Please allow me to do all the driving for those remaining at home, all the shopping and all the making of appointments.
Please give me the strength to fetch food for those in my home during the absense of the hunter/gatherers.
Please allow me to stay awake while I am at work so that I may make money to feed all the mouths that depend on me.
Please do not upset my stomach for it is you that I require.
For this I will forsake Robert Greenwald and his attack on your servant, Starbucks, because it purportedly does not allow unionization.
Hear me. Hear me. O my liege. For you are great and my only hope in this hour of my need.