Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Hair Today, Gone Today

I decided to get the rest of my hair shaved off this morning.  I will need to start wearing hats and scarves now so here is my first "scarf" for my new lack of 'do.

Losing my hair has been fairly upsetting but I could not live with the hairs all over my pillow,  particularly when some of them wound up in my mouth.  Hair is really not that tasty.  So I went to Supercuts with my daughter as support.  It took me a while to convince the hair stylist to shave it all off.  She wanted to leave some hair even though my hair was already quite short. I am sure that reflects our belief that women should have hair no matter what. I told her that the hair was falling out anyway which she had trouble believing until I explain I was undergoing chemo.

The first thing I noticed is how cold it is without hair.  I put on a red hat but found this head cover in the car so decided to sport it instead.  Gotta laugh or I'll cry.

Yesterday one of my colleagues,  who is also a member of the cancer club, confided that losing her hair was the worst part for her.  I don't know if she was saying that because I was feeling so bad about losing mine but it was very consoling.  I have felt very vain because the hair loss is such a big deal to me.  It was the first thing that made me cry when I talked to the doctor about what the chemo would be like.  I am relieved that someone else viewed it as a big deal and since I do not think of this particular colleague as vain at all, I felt validated in my own feelings of helplessness and loss.  So I am not vain, just mourning the loss of my close friends on my head that kept me warm and happy.

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